What being a dad means to me

I've been a lot of different things in my life. I've been a son, a brother, a student, an employee, a friend, a teacher, and a husband. All of those roles are important to me. They all define who I am to a certain extent. They all mold who I am to a certain extent. But nothing has defined me, or molded me quite the way being a dad has. Being a Dad has meant a lot of different things to a lot of different people. I started this blog to paint a picture of what being a Dad means to me.

When I was a kid, my teacher had us make a card for our dads on fathers day. This card was in the shape of a tool belt. You don't think of it as a kid, but this is painting a picture of what being a Dad means. I don't mean this as a criticism, this was in the hay day of Tim the tool man Taylor, how can you blame them? He represented the "every dad" of his day. Liked tools, power, sports, and beer. He wasn't the brightest but he meant well, and he loved his family. Different eras had different every dad's. The 60's every dad was at work, and came home to a wife who had prepared a hot meal for him. He provided for his family by working long hours and he drank lots of liquor.... you know, I think that I just started describing Mad Men at the end there.

We're in the 21st century now. Things are changing. Things have always been changing, but I think we're more conscious of the change now. Gender roles are more of a suggestion than a rule. There are working moms, stay at home dads, and single parents of both genders. The world is changing at an incredible pace and people are going to adapt to keep up. If people need to throw tradition out the window to make things work, that's what they should do. But it does raise the question, what does it mean to be a dad in the 21st century?

You don't have to look very hard to find people who don't ever want kids. They don't want to give up the freedom that being child free comes with. Do I sometimes think about what it would be like to not have kids? To be able to spontaneously go on trips, to sleep peacefully every night, to watch a couple hours of TV without having to worry about a crying kid, to have two full incomes, without child expenses? Of course I think about those things from time to time. Of course it would be nice. I completely understand and respect people who are child free because of them.

The thing is, I would do anything for my children. The long nights are hard, and that's okay. The time cut out of my hobbies is hard, and that's okay. The expenses are hard, and that's okay. It's okay because of the laughter, the dancing, the smiles, the kisses and the hugs. It's okay because of the learning, the reading, the running and the jumping. It's okay because there is so much more in store and I can't wait to see where life takes these kids. It's okay because I would sacrifice anything, I would adapt my life in any way, and I will do whatever it takes to make sure my children have the best life they can. Lives that are full of happiness, opportunity, and adventure. Lives that are wholly unique to who they are and what they love. Lives that show them how much they mean to me. That's what being a dad in the 21st century means to me, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.